thank you

i haven't written in a while, and i doubt anyone still reads this. however, i want to express my gratitude to planned parenthood as an orgnization and to the people who keep it going - its employees, its patients, its donors, its volunteers, and the members of government who are smart enough to help it keep going (though, admittedly, those are too few of these at the moment). i've done some things to help orgnizations like planned parenthood along the way, including attending the *incredible* march for women's lives in d.c. a few years ago, which was an amazingly powerful event. maybe someday i'll post my pictures from it.

now that i've switched to a student health care provider (since i am officially unemployed while a full-time student), i no longer have coverage for a routine pelvic exam and pap smear. yep, both normal things for a responsible young woman to have done annually to ensure not only her reproductive but her overall health, especially when paired with a routine annual physical. somehow, the logic of my new health care provider is that it'll be cheaper to pay only if/when i have a problem, as opposed to ensuring that i maintain good health, or finding out early if there is a problem. similarly, in not providing any insurance coverage for birth control (which is no change from my former employer, thank you very much Syracuse University, with your pretenses of we-care-about-you stance but domestic partner coverage but complete disregard for a woman's desire, ability, and responsibility to make appropriate decisions regarding sex and pregnancy), the argument seems to be that i should 1) abstain, irregardless of what type of relationship i'm in, and 2) that it would be cheaper for them to deal with the 'aftermath' of my not abstaining than to pay for birth control. to illustrate further, it makes more monetary sense to them to potentially shell out thousands in the event that i do become pregnant and choose to maintain the pregnancy rather than a couple hundred (i've paid them many times that already, and more to come i'm sure) at most to keep me from being pregnant in the first place. of course, on me they're betting safe: even if i were to become pregnant i would not stay that way for long, and i'd be paying (with my partner) for the termination. no doubt, if any aftercare was required, my health insurance - anthropomorphized - would simply sniff and look away.

all of which is a bit of a tangent in my glowing review of actually having visited a planned parenthood clinic. though my initial phone interactions were less than stellar (maybe they were busy), once i got there everyone was incredibly kind and helpful and -- gasp -- efficient! medicine stuff makes me squeamish, so i admire them all the more for working in a place that i couldn't hack, but i'd also like to think they get some joy out of knowing that they're helping people. i doubt there's a person who enters who isn't helped in one way or another by their existence. fortunately, i was only there for the routine exam and tests, and i was glad to take the free, only-minutes-til-the-result-appears HIV test. and, happily, i'll be able to afford the $25 or so dollars a month for birth control.

hooray for planned parenthood. keep up the good work.
i'll march for you any day.

i voted!

i'm still registered in florida, so i had the thrill of voting early. i like absentee voting, because it allows me to have the ballot in my hand while i research candidates and issues. i know sample ballots are available early to those who choose to vote at the polls, and once i'm back in the vicinity of my voting district i'll make use of those (and still do a lot of research online).

but in the meantime, i'll fill out my ballot in the comfort of my home, while i devote an afternoon to researching. and i left a few items blank, about which i did not feel suitably informed (voting to maintain specific judges in the court of appeals? how the hell do i know? i couldn't find their voting records online...).

one of the most useful sites was one which contained links to relevant information websites:
http://www.vote-smart.org/index.htm

doing my civic duty from afar, though, means i don't get a sticker.

oh, and the joy in knowing that i actually got to fill out a paper ballot.

hot blooded

foreigner.

free at the state fair. surrounded by people almost entirely my parents' age. *all* rocking out.

i now have no voice, but it's a small price to pay.

applause

just saw the black eyed peas at the new york state fair. open venue, beautiful evening. unfortunately, no room to dance as we were assigned seats and not allowed near the stage without priority seating tickets, but still a good time.

the males in the group are more charismatic than i'd thought - and all impressive on their feet.

ok, so they're really poppy. but i like them, i enjoyed the show despite only knowing a few of the songs, and they entertained a pretty diverse audience (no, really - very much more diverse than i expected).

most impressive, though, was their unhesitatngly political use of imagery, which was both amusing and (sometimes) poignant. maybe i missed when pop got political, but i was pleasantly surprised, even by the little bit there was.

good on ya, pop stars.



not so good: deep fried snickers bars. much better done at the north florida fairground, and, i imagine, best done as a deep fried mars bar in a chipper in scotland.

the journey

getting back to central new york - or 'upstate', depending on your perspective - for all those who haven't heard, was an adventure. within the first two hours i had a flat - or, rather, a tire with no tread, as it had blown off, though the beading was still entirely intact and held air. good thing my dad had won our disagreement from the night before and i'd taken a spare (after finding the one meant for the car had actually disintegrated). a middle-aged man from alabama stopped and helped, for which i was both grateful and a little put off, as i could well have changed the tire on my own except that the jack had gotten bent, and once he'd bent it back to shape i wanted to do it all on my own, but he'd have none of it...

then there was the broken starter, which stranded me in the savannah area overnight, but which led me to meet some interesting characters: a young male tow-truck driver with substantial ear-bling who was soft spoken and incredibly attractive, and in whose cab (with a severely cracked windscreen) i listened to local and ATL crunk at a deafening volume and could not hear what he said above the music, though he did offer me a lift to a hotel, which was sweet; the mechanic and his wife, who contacted my dad immediately (appropriately enough, as the car is registered to him), helped me find a place to stay, and ferried me between the hotel and their shop; the people at the hotel who let me hang out in front of the tv in my room long past checkout because i didn't have anywhere else to go since the nearby applebees simply was not an option. southern hospitality at its best, and characters i couldn't have dreamt of to simultaneously fit and skew popular stereotypes.

eventually i did make it to my own scheduled layover in NC, which was lovely, if a bit on the warm side. my heart swelled to see the people there, and i realized how much i miss that group of friends, both as individuals and as a unit. i'm very much looking forward to october (and i'm going early, so you should too!).

then it was off to ikea (i'd never been before), which was overwhelming but fortunately i had a friend from d.c. meet me there and she helped me navigate the insanity. i'd hoped to make it all the way to cny that day, but it was too much, so i stopped outside of wilkes-barre, which was the location of the second photo (upper right). this is just a small sample of what was to be seen in this parking lot, at a motel which was unsettlingly far from the interstate - and, seemingly, from anything else except a fast-food burger joint. the ambiance helped me more thoroughly enjoy my fast-food dinner, though, and i made it to my destination the next day before lunch.

i got coffee and a bagel to enjoy as my first meal in my new apartment.

my first single, a one-bedroom apartment. no roommates, no housemates. a tiny kitchen, lots of closets.

snow removal included.

to eschew myopia:

ok, so i don't know nearly as much about stem-cell research as some people. but listening to dan lundgren (congressman, r-calif.) this morning illustrated, for me, that this topic is so completely linked to both 'right-to-life' and 'pro-life' positions that, in many cases, at least, are partisan issues (and anything 'partisan' i find problematic for the willingness of party members to follow their political demigods on faith, without personal critical reflection or consideration of their own positions on the many complex aspects comprising any issue... 'thinking is hard, let's go shopping,' to paraphrase an unfortunately apt statement from the mouth of the bimbo we're supposed to long to be. ironically, i find that shopping makes me think even more. but i digress...)

hear lundgren here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5572471

forgive me for not making this connection sooner; rather, i made the connection, but didn't realize others were doing so, at least not so explicitly. perhaps this is due to my repeated absences from the u.s., and thus, admittedly, from the saturation of u.s. news to which i am accustomed. however, whatever position one takes on any of these issues singularly, their connection should *not* be accepted by default by even the most conservative individuals, republicans or no, nor should such inherent linkages be accepted by liberal opponents. this is true for practical reasons: we must choose our battles; but it is also true for more abstract ones, including the logic implied in lundgren's arguments.

i accept that the definition of life is variable. i accept that my definition my vary significantly from those of my neighbours in the rural south. but my definition is not unique. i will not tell my neighbours what they should and should not believe; in turn, i expect them not to do so to me. this does not keep us from engaging in meaningful dialogue. such would not be the case were life and its beginnings legislatively defined; this would, of course, affect not only stem-cell research but certainly abortion and possibly sexual education and contraceptive or family planning rights. it is absurd, to me, that a group of cells, whether created for ivf or research or in someone's body, be called a human before it could be viable outside of its host - be it a biological mother or a petri dish.

therefore, i disagree with dan lundgren.

therefore, i find it HEINOUS for lundgren to compare the use of discarded embryos from efforts at ivf, or the stem cells from those embyos, to the inexplicable and monstrous tuskegee experiment. this was a four-decade-long government-funded abuse and exploitation of poor African-American men and their families, from which people are still suffering. this is not in any way comparable to the laboratory manipulation of an unviable group of cells (nevermind the potential benefits - i think these are unnecessary to invoke as there is no need for justification of many other scientific experiments).

for more on the tuskegee experiment:
http://www.cdc.gov/nchstp/od/tuskegee/time.htm
http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/jul/tuskegee/

let's have these dialogues. let's engage our differences, celebrate our diverse positions and opinions, and respect the need to support legislation that allows and encourages such diversity. but let's not make ridiculous invokations of emotionally resonant incidents in order to gain support on a purely associative platform.



now, back to packing...

jet plane

finally leaving the island tomorrow morning, after more hassle, stress, and headache than any dissertation is worth, and having to rework my entire project in the future. i've also not spoken to most of my committee about the problems i've had, so that even bigger and more disastrous headaches await...

the good news, is, of course, that i'll be back in a place soon where my access and ridiculous addiction to the internet will soon be restored, along, no doubt, with the feeling that it is a basic necessity of life. ironic, since every day i wonder what the hell i'm doing in academia and why i'm not out working to make the world less incomprehensibly 'unfair' in a more concrete way...

maybe i will. if i survive my flight. i hate flying. i think most people who know me know this. i've heard that it's the feeling of powerlessness that makes people scared to fly. i don't know what it is, i just don't think it's natural for me to be up there when the ground's so far down there. none of which entered my mind when i chose what to do with my life.